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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24875611">5 times Magnus was blind and the one time he wasnt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomWillOvercome/pseuds/FandomWillOvercome'>FandomWillOvercome</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Cute Ending, Feelings, First Kiss, Fluff, Gentle Kissing, Happy Ending, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Hugs, Hurt Alec, Hurt Magnus Bane, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Kissing, Love Poems, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Malec Monday, Protective Alec Lightwood, Sad, Sad and Happy, Sad and Sweet, Sad with a Happy Ending, Short &amp; Sweet, Surprise Kissing, True Love's Kiss, Warlock Magnus Bane, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, poem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:22:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24875611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomWillOvercome/pseuds/FandomWillOvercome</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus Bane is looking for his Alexander, only to go into his room and find something else....<br/>Something that equally controlled his feeling and pushed a hole into his chest</p><p> </p><p>6 poems Alec wrote for someone and Magnus thought were for Jace, only to be wrong</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Magnus Bane &amp; Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>128</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Mystery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magnus was wafted into the smell of Alexander, a rough cologne that smelt of burnt paper and dry soap. Black walls caved Alec’s room, unmistakable clean for Magnus’ taste yet it was very Alexander. <em>Clean</em>, one word that he would call Alec anyway. The curtains were drawn close, yet small rays of sunlight danced across the wooden floor, melting into the black arrayed furniture in every corner.</p><p>Magnus didn’t think much of it at first, yet there was a flash of – <em>something – </em>that caught Magnus’ eyes. Alec’s bow, it was displayed as equally equip as the rest of the room, well defined and certainly attractive. Magnus’ heart began to race, he had seen Alec use it before and the outcome…. Magnus practically made a puddle of drool on Alec’s carpet remembering the sight once more.</p><p>Next to the bow was a neatly placed leather book, on the front of it was the angelic rune. <em>I think anyway, </em>Magnus raised a single brow, unsure of its contents, he opened the journal up. Blinking twice… it was a poem of some sort; Alec didn’t scream the sort that would journal thoughts in poems. Magnus touched the page softly, as though the book was Alec himself.</p><p>Magnus began to read.</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>M</strong></em>ystery</p><p>You wander through my thoughts,</p><p>Your voice as husky as sweet,</p><p>Your eyes making my stomach twist into knots,</p><p>As I know you and I are complete,</p><p>You buzz around me without your being,</p><p>And I know I want you by my side,</p><p>Yet I fear of fleeing,</p><p>Knowing a part of me will die,</p><p>I feel a void between us,</p><p>And you and I stand feet apart,</p><p>The worst part as we discuss,</p><p>As though you don’t know you belong in my heart,</p><p>You begin to be a mystery,</p><p>And hope to understand our history.</p><p> </p><p>Magnus lulled his eyes back, <em>of course, </em>Magnus began, <em>a poem of Jace. </em>Magnus pushed his lips forward, a hot fluid boiling in the pit of his stomach as he shut the book in a huff. He crossed his arms over his chest as his fingers found their way to his rings, jealously wasn’t a good look on Magnus. In fact, Magnus hardly ever got jealous, but the fact that Alec was writing a poem for someone that didn’t reciprocate his feelings only brought fire to his attention. He didn’t want his Alexander getting hurt in the process of loving someone else he can’t force himself from.</p><p>The door opened and Alec stopped in his track.</p><p>“Magnus?” Alec began, his question a voice of reason.</p><p>“Oh Alexander!” Magnus began, clasping his hands under his chin, turning away from his journal. “I was just looking for you!”</p><p>“Oh…” Alec’s eyes averted to the shut book beside Magnus. “What were you doing?”</p><p>Magnus whitened, the stopped himself. <em>Don’t be stupid. </em>“Admiring your amazing bow,” he said. “I like it hanging on the wall like that… looks <em>sexy.” </em></p><p>Alec turned multiple colours of red before smiling and ushering Magnus outside.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A golden rim</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magnus looked at the closed door in front of him, his heart burning with desire. There was something that churned inside him, something indescribable that sent shivers through him. Alec’s room was in front of him, he pushed the door open-</p><p>No one was inside.</p><p>A frown formed on Magnus’ lips, he hadn’t seen Alec in days, though all hope drained from his body. There was a pang that shot through him then, something that Magnus hadn’t expected. His feelings for Alec hadn't died down since the last he’d seen him, instead they only grew, thinking of him for days as he was his only trail of through. Yet, there was something holding Magnus back, and he faced at it.</p><p>The Journal.</p><p>Alec’s Journal to be exact. Magnus couldn’t get it’s contents out from his head, <em>I feel a void between us, and you and I stand feet apart, the worst part as we discuss, as though you don’t know you belong in my heart. </em>The frown on Magnus’ face only deepened. He sauntered up to Alec’s bedside, the book staring at him once more. Magnus couldn’t resist, he opening it, flipping through the pages only to find another poem.</p><p>A poem that didn't belong to him.</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>A</strong></em> Golden rim,</p><p>There’s something off with eyes,</p><p>As though you are hiding something inside,</p><p>I know the line between us,</p><p>Yet a part of me wants to cross it,</p><p>Afraid of what everyone else would fuss,</p><p>Yet I know I will not quit,</p><p>My feelings are real,</p><p>You are real,</p><p>And your golden rim is only there helping me conceal the ideal feelings of you.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><em>Golden rim, </em>Magnus saddened, <em>he’s talking about Jace’s hair. </em>Tears perked the ends of his eyelashes, a deeper meaning to Magnus’ form slugged itself forward.</p><p>“Why can’t he like me?” Magnus whispered.</p><p>The cracked door opened fully.</p><p>“Is this going to be a thing from now on?” Alec chuckled. “Are you trying to steal my bow?”</p><p>“The though had crossed my mind,” Magnus lied.</p><p>“If you so badly want it,” Alec began. “Take it,” he said. “I have plenty more,”</p><p>Magnus shook his head, avoiding Alec’s eyes. “It’s to pretty on this wall, it would look naked without it. I’m sure I can live without it.”</p><p>"Your loss,"  Alec sighed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Gory of dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magnus looked down at Alec’s journal once again, his heart racing inside him. He didn’t hesitate any longer, he flipped it open and read out loud.</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>G</strong></em>lory of dreams  </p><p>I saw him in my dreams,</p><p>Apart of myself began to tear at the seams,</p><p>As all I saw was him,</p><p>His eyes, his smile, his voice – which I heard very slim,</p><p>I couldn’t help myself; but I reached out,</p><p>My movement a sell-out to my feelings,</p><p>He was everything I’ve ever wanted,</p><p>Yet he disappeared within a blink of an eye,</p><p>I awoke alone,</p><p>And wanted him more than ever</p><p>A fear that we however will never, ever, get together.</p><p> </p><p>Magnus heart twisted in his chest, <em>why am I doing this? I’m invading his privacy, I’m going against him, hiding secrets. </em>Yet a part of him also didn’t care, a part of him wanted him to hate Alec, to lose his feelings for him, <em>HE’S IN LOVE WITH JACE!</em></p><p>Pain exploded itself into his chest, yet he deserved it, he needed it – to feeling something other than jealousy. Magnus slammed the book shut, running out of Alec’s room, tears cascading down his cheeks, he didn’t care if others were looking at him, he didn’t care if others watched him run alone in pain.</p><p>Something hit his head hard, Magnus backed away. Looking up, his stomach was caught in his throat. <em>OF COURSE IT’S HIM!</em></p><p>“Magnus?” Alec eyes widened. “You’re crying…”</p><p>“No shit Sherlock…” Magnus rubbed at his eyes.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Alec grabbed at Magnus’ arm.</p><p>“Nothing,” he laughed it off.</p><p>“Is your head okay?”</p><p>“My head? What of your chest? I hit it pretty hard,”</p><p>“You’re avoid my questions.”</p><p>
  <em>And you’re avoiding my feelings.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Never enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magnus stirred his way out of the crowd, his mind boggled on the drawing thought of that journal. He needed to read it, to get over Alec, to ensure himself that Alec wasn’t the one, even if he wanted him to be. He passed the training room, his eyes catching themselves onto the one and only….</p><p>Alexander Lightwood…</p><p><em>SHIRTLESS</em>! Magnus was taken aback, his vision scanning over Alec’s feature vigorously. The seraph blade in Alec’s head pointed at Jace’s throat, a smile that never once wavered from Alec’s face turned Jace’s way.</p><p>And Magnus’ heart stopped. He turned away; his voice stuck in his throat as he continued his way to Alec’s room. <em>You don’t have a chance with him, why are you so mad about this? You should have already known. </em></p><p>“Magnus!” In front of him was long black hair, seven-inched heels and all, Isabelle Lightwood. “I see you’re investigating something… <em>important</em>.” She teased.</p><p>“I have nothing better to do,” he lied. “Plus, he is quite the sight for sore eyes.”</p><p>Isabelle smiled, Magnus turning back towards Alec’s room. “I forgot to ask!” she called. “Are you okay from your mishap the other day?”</p><p>“I got a face full of Alec’s chest, I don’t think that’s much of a mishap.”</p><p>Her smile brightened. “I see you haven’t changed.” She said and turned away.</p><p>Magnus sucked in a breath as he waited for Isabelle to be out of sight before opening Alec’s door. Heat washed over him as he noticed the blinds open. He wasted no time, knowing well enough Isabelle would have informed the two of them that Magnus was here and stop training. Magnus shuffled to the book, opening it up and read.</p><p> </p><p><strong><em>N</em></strong>ever enough</p><p>I saw him today,</p><p>And my heart fluttered,</p><p>He knows I’m gay,</p><p>Yet, everything was so cluttered,</p><p>I want to tell him,</p><p>But there a voice that tells me I’m not careful enough,</p><p>That I will break after he rejects me,</p><p>He is the missing piece of the puzzle – the key….</p><p>But to what?</p><p>Is it worth it?</p><p>The pain?</p><p>The pleasure?</p><p>Just to be with him?</p><p>Can I be good?</p><p>What about my family?</p><p>Will they love me?</p><p>Accept me?</p><p>Or will they leave me…?</p><p> </p><p>Nothing but guilt washed over him, it showered him as he thought Alec was afraid, that he wasn’t going to be accepted for loving his parabatai. Magnus didn’t have time to think of much as he heard footsteps coming his way. He turned, closing the book and thinking of something to do that wouldn’t be suspicious. Magic churned in his veins, coming out to show themselves in pink and blue swirls.</p><p>The door opened.</p><p>“Isabelle told me you were here,” Alec began, turning to close the door behind himself. His hair was damp, folding on his forehead, his shirt was sling around his should, drenched.</p><p><em>Why do you have to be so hot?</em> Magnus moaned.</p><p>“I figured, so I thought I’d meet you here.”</p><p>“Is something wrong?”</p><p>Magnus wavered. “No, nothing wrong.”</p><p>“You’re magic’s normally purple and green.” Alec guested his hand his way, “it’s now pink and blue.”</p><p>Magnus’ hands shook. “You pay attention to that?”</p><p>Alec’s face deepened in red. “No….?”</p><p>Magnus smiled. “Whatever Sherlock,”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Us or nothing else</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magnus flipped the book open, peering inside.</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>U</strong></em>s or nothing else</p><p>I’m telling him,</p><p>I want him,</p><p>I want him.</p><p>I want him.</p><p>In more ways then possible.</p><p>I WANT HIM!</p><p>But I haven’t seen him in so long….</p><p>Does he want me?</p><p>Am I overthinking it?</p><p>Am I stupid enough to think he wants somebody like <em>me?</em></p><p>I can’t live without him,</p><p>He rules me,</p><p>He owns me,</p><p>He is <em>me. </em></p><p>And I will prove that.</p><p> </p><p><em>Well, he wants Jace, </em>Magnus pushed his lips forward. <em>And he can’t live without him, he’s his parabatai after all! </em>Magnus sighed, simply walking out the room without another word.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Not giving up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was the moment Magnus had regretted for so long,<em> this is the last one I’m reading, </em>he said, <em>and I promise that. </em>Without another word he flipped the book open, dreading for the worst.</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>N</strong></em>ot giving up</p><p>I had a dream I kissed him,</p><p>Yet I don’t know how to,</p><p>I had a dream I talked to him,</p><p>Yet I don’t know how to,</p><p>I had a dream I was <em>in</em> him,</p><p>Yet I don’t know how to,</p><p>I’m useless,</p><p>I need help,</p><p>Yet there’s no one I can go to,</p><p>I need practice,</p><p>I need Magnus – the man I obsessed with.</p><p> </p><p>Magnus stopped, rereading the last few words. His voice stuck in throat as he reread over and over again.</p><p>“I was so wrong….” Magnus started. “I’m a fool.”</p><p>The pang in his chest was replaced with the sound of blood rushing behind his ears, the throbbing of his heart racing in his chest enough to awake anyone close by. He ached for Alexander – longed for him. And now, he knows Alec is the <em>one, </em>the one he has been waiting for, the one he wants. A smile sped across his cheeks. His hands shaking as his eyes panned over the writing once more.</p><p><em>It’s real, not a dream. </em>Magnus shook himself from it, <em>maybe it was a mistake, maybe it was – </em></p><p>The door flew open, and there stood Alexander, wide eyed and breathtaking.</p><p>“Alexander…” Magnus tensed, as Alec came closer.</p><p>“You must really like my room.” Alec teased.</p><p>“Actually,” Magnus began, confidence overpowering his words. “I just really like you.”</p><p>Alec whitened. <em>Shit, it was a mistake! </em>But Alec only turned towards Magnus. “Don’t joke about that, you know about my feelings for you,”</p><p>Magnus was taken aback, swallowing the lump forming in his throat – threatening to choke him. “You could have told me earlier!” He stepped forward, cupping Alec’s face with his hands as he stood on his toes, his face merely an inch away from Alec’s. “That would have helped a lot.” His lips found their way to Alec’s and Alec kissed back, boarding their feeling in the closed room as their breath turned heavy, melting it’s way into Magnus’ chest as they separated for a moment. Magnus felt Alec’s heart race between them, this meant something to him also.</p><p>Magnus smiled and parted.</p><p>“You read it?” Alec breathed out; Magnus only nodded. “The titles were about you…. And the first letters spelt your name… how could you not think I’m crazy for you?”</p><p>“Because you didn’t tell me!” Magnus huffed. “They all sounded like they were for Jace….”</p><p>“You poor soul,” Alec chucked. “You really thought that?”</p><p>“Absolutely!”</p><p>“You’re such a dork!”</p><p>“But….?” Magnus pushed on.</p><p>“But you’re my stupid dork!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you SOOOOOO much for reading! I hope you enjoyed and sorry for any errors you find.<br/>Have a LOVELY day and tell me what you thought!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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